I am in Love With a Married Guy!
Geplaatst op 28-05-2026
Categorie: Lifestyle
Question asked by Anne – I think I’m in love with a guy. Met at work over a year ago – he flirted with me everyday, we got on well, laughed together. But he is married!
I told him there was no going anywhere as I had some principles – morals I lived by. However, it doesn’t stop me liking him – a lot.
I left where he worked and we kept in touch through mutual friends, text and e-mail – at least once per month. Then he left work and I have found him some work. It means we are talking everyday and texting and e-mailing – a combination of flirty and work – which is going well – both. However, I am now convinced I love him and will be heart broken by him.
He has a history of affairs and is married which I remind myself of constantly. We work in different parts of the country but I think he’s going to ask me to meet and I am scared of my reaction.
I Am struggling with this. Haven’t met anyone like him – ever and don’t want to lose him.
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Hi Anne,
Attraction has no logic; it just happens without a rhyme or reason. You are in love with a guy who has a history of past affairs and is currently engaged in an extra-martial affair with you, and though you have moral principles you find yourself helpless to this attraction.
You’ve basically fallen for his charisma; most “playboy type men” have an appealing charisma to their personality that the opposite sex finds irresistibly attractive. Playboy may not be the right term to describe this man you are in love with, but you get the meaning.
At a guess, his personality would have a mix of humor, carelessness, playfulness and cocky confidence. That’s the usual mix of the “manly” nature that floors most of the women. The fact that he has had a history affairs points to his high drive and risk taking ability. He’s the kind of man that your father would have warned you against. Of course, his “bad guy” attitude is what might be causing the under current of attraction in you to start with.
You are confused about how you should take this forward; whether you should go in for a full fledged relationship with him (getting physical and more) or keep your distance. But if you are honest you will notice that deep down in your heart, you know what the right thing to do is.
Note that this guy has a complete lack of morals and character. And as you already rightly realized, a man like this will use you and break your heart. If this is what you want happening to you, then by all means continue the relationship.
He probably triggers a lot of emotions in you and there is a good possibility that you get a kick out of this and are addicted to the feeling. But do realize that sooner or later, these feelings will fade away and when that happens, you will feel a deep sense of regret for letting yourself so lose. It’s one thing to fantasize and another to play it out in real life. So by all means, try your best to dump this guy even if that means taking professional help.